Reason

Pity Party doesn't condone murder of any kind, but if someone says to you "If it wasn't for (blank) I would go out with you" or "I don't want to ruin our friendship," I'm certainly not going to stop you from taking their life.

-GJM

This CAN'T be just me

Please tell me other people do this and it's not just my fucking anxiety kicking in again. I took medication for this shit.

If you do see me in a busy city standing next to a green Toyota, you should probably grab me and pull me away so I can go back to whatever I was doing.

-GJM

Tact

Look, I'm not actually saying all old people should shoot themselves. I'm just saying that you have to wonder if the elderly, at some point on I-93, look at the long line of cars behind them waiting to merge into the next lane so they can actually drive the fucking speed limit, and ask themselves if they might be doing a disservice...

Growth: Pt. 2

I like writing/talking about when people were kids, because kids are fucking idiots. I was going to write a paragraph saying something really wise about how kids view the world, but I just posted a comic about seeing my first vagina, and I really don't know where to go from there.

-GJM

Growth

I've actually received a lot of feedback over the past week from a lot of different people, which is really awesome, because it means more than three people (including myself) read this. Which means I've successfully hit my target goal of four viewers!

But seriously, a lot of people have been telling me what they like about this, which is awesome because it gives me some direction. Incidentally, I made this prior, so rest easy knowing dick jokes aren't the direction this is going. I'd like to talk more, but I actually need to put on pants and go to my first big boy job today, so I'll talk more Wednesday.

-GJM

Levity

Today's comic is based on an absolutely 100% true story. I'm awful at interacting with older people, and cops intimidate the everloving fuck out of me, which is exactly why I don't communicate with them, ever. I recently saw two hanging out at t mall last week and found myself trying really hard to be innocent. Innocent of what, I have no fucking clue.

Maturity

Fucking Stupid

This is why you don't work on two separate strips in one day. One of them is going to be brilliant, and one of them is going to be a rushed piece of retarded fecal matter sin against God. Someday I'll look back on this strip and say "oh, that was my Unemployment Phase".

The reason it didn't come out on Friday was because the one that's supposed to go up today is a lot longer. I think it's a lot better though, so look forward to that tomorrow (Tuesday), and hopefully that'll make us even in time for Wednesday's comic.

(I do demand some credit for the text on the bottom right of the TV that's too small to read: "EmpTV". I'm a genius.)

The other reason for the delay was that I found a new job and had to square away a few things, run some errands, etc. So now I can finally go back to contributing to society after my two weeks of leeching from it. Hooray!

-GJM

Delay

Today's comic is going up later. Way later. Sorry about that, three people who read this on a regular basis (one of whom is me). Expect it up either later tonight or early tomorrow. Here's a drawing I made in the meantime.

Socialization

Today's comic is an amalgamation of a few different conversations I've had. Actually, I still have these kinds of conversations from time to time. I don't watch TV anymore (save for nightly Conan and Colbert), so pop culture is totally lost on me, and I don't listen to the radio, because the radio sucks. This makes talking about things with people difficult.

By the by, apologizes for posting this three hours later than usual. Between shoveling slush and meeting for another interview, it was a pretty busy morning. Today's interview was with a certain espresso chain; very nice manager, but very strict.

Also 4AM shifts. Oi.